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51 Re: Review Thread on Mon Nov 08, 2010 6:41 am

BelleMarieena wrote:I kno.I did in the orginal chapter4 but i have to shorten them on this so i can post them.But thanks!
Why do you have to shorten them? I've written the entire first 3 chapters and prologue of Assault of the Aggressor on one post strip, and in case you haven't read it already (please do though!) it's been VERY long.

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52 Re: Review Thread on Mon Nov 08, 2010 6:42 am

Ch4 was 10 notebook pages long

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53 Re: Review Thread on Mon Nov 08, 2010 6:48 am

So? It would be a lot smaller when you typed it out. It would be only 5 pages maximum. Probably only 3.

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54 Re: Review Thread on Mon Nov 08, 2010 7:06 am

It was six wen i typed but another reason y there shrot is my computre shuts off by its self randomly,an wen i try to post the full thing it shuts off an my work is lost!Butr i promise ch5 will b much better!
What did u guys think of belle in this chapter?

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55 Re: Review Thread on Mon Nov 08, 2010 7:08 am

BelleMarieena wrote:It was six wen i typed but another reason y there shrot is my computre shuts off by its self randomly,an wen i try to post the full thing it shuts off an my work is lost!Butr i promise ch5 will b much better!
What did u guys think of belle in this chapter?
Ah, now I see. Ok then, I was just curious. As for Belle, her character is a lot like starkiller's-emotionally confused and basically takes it all out on enemies.

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56 Re: Review Thread on Mon Nov 08, 2010 7:10 am

GeneralGrievous505 wrote:
BelleMarieena wrote:It was six wen i typed but another reason y there shrot is my computre shuts off by its self randomly,an wen i try to post the full thing it shuts off an my work is lost!Butr i promise ch5 will b much better!
What did u guys think of belle in this chapter?
Ah, now I see. Ok then, I was just curious. As for Belle, her character is a lot like starkiller's-emotionally confused and basically takes it all out on enemies.

Exactly.

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57 Re: Review Thread on Mon Nov 08, 2010 7:11 am

And shes a bad a double crooked letter(the only word i can think of!but it bad!so i put it like that!I sry!)fighter!

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58 Re: Review Thread on Mon Nov 08, 2010 8:21 am

You'll find about more her as the book goes on but no spiolers!!!!!

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59 Re: Review Thread on Mon Nov 08, 2010 3:32 pm

Ok more is comming in a few weeks!!!!!!!!!!Plz tell me how u like it!!!!!

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60 Re: Review Thread on Mon Nov 08, 2010 3:41 pm

Question:
What were some of the parts you liked in ch5?

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61 Re: Review Thread on Mon Nov 08, 2010 7:07 pm

Just now red my ch5 an loved it!!!!!Hope u guys do too!!!!

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62 Re: Review Thread on Mon Nov 08, 2010 7:42 pm

I deserve a pat on the back for ch5!Good work belle!(pats my own back)
if no one else will might as well do it ur self!lol

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63 Re: Review Thread on Tue Nov 09, 2010 3:45 am

Very good, Belle! *Pats Belle's back* There. Now you don't have to pat your own back. Hehe. Did that make any sense?

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64 Re: Review Thread on Tue Nov 09, 2010 3:58 am

Guest


Guest
WOW, that was a great chapter

Twisted Evil Twisted Evil Twisted Evil

65 Re: Review Thread on Tue Nov 09, 2010 4:31 am

THank yall!!!!!!Whatd yall like best about it?

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66 Re: Review Thread on Tue Nov 09, 2010 4:51 am

I like that her insane sister was finally captured.

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67 Re: Review Thread on Tue Nov 09, 2010 4:55 am

that was good. I like toward the end how her and mace have like a heart to heart talk.That was good

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68 Re: Review Thread on Tue Nov 09, 2010 6:16 am

Guest


Guest
I am supporter of the darkside, so that was one of those where I ruted for her, but I liked their battle, you have inspired me to continue my book, and for that i thank you belle.

Twisted Evil Twisted Evil Twisted Evil

69 Re: Review Thread on Tue Nov 09, 2010 7:07 am

My fav part was how Belle kept on getting injured/sliced. It was very descriptive and creepy and I really liked it!

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70 Re: Review Thread on Tue Nov 09, 2010 7:09 am

thank you!

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71 Re: Review Thread on Tue Nov 09, 2010 7:43 am

Hey Belle, what if I suggsted combining this thread with the other one of this story to save room on the forum and keep your story altogether?

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72 Re: Review Thread on Tue Nov 09, 2010 8:45 am

Wow!! That...was...awesome!!! The duel was depicted very well!! So when is the movie coming out? (sarcasm) Very Happy

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73 Re: Review Thread on Tue Nov 09, 2010 8:46 am

oh sure! but could you just put ch1 on here?

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74 Re: Review Thread on Tue Nov 09, 2010 8:53 am

I'll take care of it Belle.

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75 Re: Review Thread on Tue Nov 09, 2010 8:55 am

Okay here's chapter one. Can I delete your old thread?


Chapter One
I awoke to sunlight flooding the bedroom of my Corasaunt skyrise apartment.I rolled out of bed and hit the hard floor with a loud thud.I scrambled up and made my way to my closet and put on my Jedi uniform.But just as I was about to leave,I noticed i forgot somethings.
The first thing was my purple lightsaber,which i found under a mountian of clutter on my dresser.The second was a dear friend.I sat down at my desk and pulled out an old tattered blue diary and flipped to the last page.

Diary,
Thank you my old friend.Its seems like just yesterday when i got you when i was thirteen.The day i left Naboo for the Jedi Temple,the day i became a padawan.Now as of today Ive been a knight for two years.And Ill be going on my first mission,without a master that is.I have to protect a dear friend that Ive known my whole life.But my other close friend Anakin Skywalker will be tagging along.Although weve been friends since i was 6 and he was 4 when i first moved to Tatooine Now we cant stand eachother.I have to leave now,I musnt keep the council waiting.Goodbye my old friend

I signed my name,Belle Marieena at the bottom of the yellowed page and left my apartment
I got to the temple around mid-morning and was greeted at the door by anakin's padawan ahsoka tano.
"Morning Belle.The council is ready for the briefing.What do you have to do anyway?"
"Protect Senator Amidala from terrorist,if you will,while she goes to naboo."
"Do they know whose doing this or why."
"No but they must want something.Bad.Bad enough to kill a senator."We got into the elevator and continued our conversation.when I got out of the elevator ahsoka moaned.
"What?"I asked her
"I have to teach a class of younglings now"She almost wined.I laughed to myself though
"May the force be with you."
She moaned again and walked down the hallway and i entered the room.I bowed and exchanged the traditional formal greeting."And where would anakin be?"
I glanced around and as usual he was going to be late.
"I have no clue master kenobi"
"Come one!"I thought to myself "Your feeding me to the gundarks here anakin!As if you would care anyway!"Master Yoda laughed aloud.
"your thoughts,very amusing they are."Then he looked up at me with his greenish hazel eyes."Much faith in your sucess,I do have."
I bowed and thanked him for his faith in me.Then,anakin burt through the door,his light chesnut brown hair tousled by the wind.He came over to my right side and greeted the council.
I slightly tilted my head so i could see his face"So finally decided to show up?"I asked him
"Shut it sleemo"He mouthed.I stuck my tongue out at him,childishly.
"Well if you plan to rendezvous with the senator on time you best be leaving now."Master Mundi told us."Anakin,due to the recent delvelopments in the assaination attempts,yu must guard the queen.Belle,you'll still guard the senator."MAster windu added.I felt anger build in Anakin but before he could protest,we were dismissed.
Morning Corasaunt traffic had only gotten worsehalf way to the senate building,as did anakins anger."I can sense your upset about the council's desicion."
"Of course I am!Padme could get hurt or,"He shook his head,unable to utter the words.I stopped my speeder.
"Anakin,no harm will come to her.I swear it."I pulled back into the street and pushed a blonde ringlet of hair back behind my ear.When we got to the senate i groaned to myself.
"What?"anakin asked me
"Theres no place to park!"Then i got an idea.I looked at him who looked back at me.And by the way he laughed i could tell he lekid this enterance much better.I jumped out of my speeder and began free falling towards the concrete below.I landed on my feet and anakin did as well.
"You do realize their probably going to tow your speeder right?"he asked me
"I didnt like the color yellow anyways."

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